Too Late

from by Beige Monk

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well, here we are
lying naked on the stadium floor
maybe i can figure out what went wrong

there are a thousand thoughts roaming in the back of my head
but i wasn’t given permission to see any of them
where can i find the administrator password to my mind
you know they killed a horse so i could be here today
just so i’d have some kind of shitty obligation to stay
i wish i wasn’t alive, but not as much as i wish they were dead
i remember what you told me, you said you pass by this street every day
but you never thought to walk down it
well i have, and it’s just a worthless dead end
backstage watching thoughts turn into dreams
i’m not sure if i’m meant to be in the scene
you know, looking back, before i told myself to stop doing it so much
i wasn’t really doing it at all

always captive, always pretending
ignore whatever i’m sending
don’t listen to anything i say to you
none of it is worth listening to
always pretending, always captive
ignore whatever happens
because tonight isn’t real, tonight doesn’t count
there isn’t really anything i couldn’t live without

i do, i am
acting defeated, refusing the treatment
acting defeated, refusing the treatment
i want to run
like a dog runs to his owner

it’s too late to settle for normalcy
by now i should’ve found diplomacy
i know, i know
to find the mirror with the clearest view
first you gotta change what isn’t clear about you
i know, i know
dogs biting the wrist of those who feed them
have conquered and taken from the fruits of men
i know, i know


from Blue Womb, released May 20, 2017



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Beige Monk Atlantic Highlands, New Jersey

Music for the androgynous youth.

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